One day... Hopefully soon!

Because whenever anyone brings a new little baby into the world they picture the same thing. The day they get to bring that new bundle of joy home, the day they can show them their nursery, introduce them to siblings and start a new "normal" routine. 

You pick out the perfect going home outfit, carefully pack that precious cargo in your car and head for home, leaving behind the place that days before helped you bring that little one into the world.
 For some that is the amazing and blessed reality that plays after the birth of a child.

For others such as us we have a temporary new routine at play that we would have never imagined nor would ever wish upon anyone.

 We live out of a hotel, what we call our home right now to try and help our 2 year old understand when he asks why we can't go home. We sleep in strange beds, travel back and forth between that temporary home and a hospital trying to spend as much time with each child as possible, trying to make anything seem normal, comfortable, and as stable as we can when coming from a place where we had the same routine, the same familiarity and knowing we had just a few short weeks ago when we left home.  

Never would I have dreamed in my wildest dreams that one day I would be having to check in with a security officer to see my daughter, would I spend hours a day in a hospital chair listening to multiple different machines beep, hum, and see them flashing. Would in 11 days of her life have only held her for a few hours total and for that to even have happened I would need 3-4 people to help me just get her into my arms. 

Never would I have thought that at just 8 days old I would see my precious baby being taken back behind closed doors to have her chest cut open and for someone to touch her heart.

 Never can anything help prepare you on how you will explain to your toddler that sissy's heart was being opened so they can fix the owie on her heart. 

Never can anything help you explain to the little boy that has waited 9 months and practiced so much on how to hold sissy be told that he cant hold her and we just have to look and be gentle. The look when he asks for sissy to "come on" or to "come play", the confusion and scared look in his eyes when he see's his "baby sister" with wires everywhere and a tube coming out of her mouth.  

It doesn't matter what you do, what you read, who you talk to or what you see. Nothing can have you ready, get you prepared, or help you understand any of those things until you experience them first hand for yourself.

So where does this lead us?

 It leads us to the fact that we pray and wish upon the saying "one day."
One day we wont be in this place, in this situation. One day we will all play barn, and watch frozen on our couch the 4 of us. One day Wyatt can hold his sissy as much as his little heart desires. One day I wont need to ask to hold my daughter nor need help to make that task possible. One day we wont be hours from home, sleeping in strange beds, have a strange routine, we won't have to leave one child to spend time with the other. One day I will look at my beautiful girl without seeing wires, tubes, and monitors. One day this will be in the past and that will be us, in her perfect going home outfit traveling home as a family. One day everything will be our normal again and we wont walk from a parking garage and take an elevator up through security checks and get permission from guards that know our faces and the bed we're going to see before we say a word.  One day I won't hear my toddler cry as I leave to go see his sister and I won't cry as I leave my baby in the hands of nurses to go see her brother. 

One day our view won't look like this. 

One day this dream will become our reality, and one day can't come soon enough. <3