I can't count the number of times over this past year I have come to my computer and sat down to blog and then never hit publish!
This year has brought a world wind of emotions, changes, good times and bad and it never either comes out quiet right or gets finished enough to share.
This year has brought a world wind of emotions, changes, good times and bad and it never either comes out quiet right or gets finished enough to share.
So tonight, as my husband works, and our two little ones are asleep without a fight
(Yes, Yes you read that right TWO little ones,
I'll get to that shortly!)
I figured as we get ready to ring in the new year and close in on Paisley's second birthday it was time to get this down in writing and share!
SO, where has 2017 brought us?!!
Well at this time last year it brought me to a lot of time on the couch and nausea!
Well at this time last year it brought me to a lot of time on the couch and nausea!
Just before Christmas 2016 we found out we were going to be expecting our RAINBOW baby!
(A "rainbow baby" is a baby that is born following a miscarriage or still birth.
In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.
The storm (pregnancy loss) has already happened and nothing can change that experience. Storm-clouds might still be overhead as the family continue to cope with the loss, but something colorful and bright has emerged from the darkness and misery.)
In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.
The storm (pregnancy loss) has already happened and nothing can change that experience. Storm-clouds might still be overhead as the family continue to cope with the loss, but something colorful and bright has emerged from the darkness and misery.)
Along with this excitement came the many emotions of coming up on Paisley's 1st birthday, and the anniversary of loosing her as well as first trimester sickness that our little bundle hit me with hard.
I drudged by and slowly made it through, till we hit that 20 week ultrasound.
For most people that's the excitement of finding out the gender of your baby if you are.
Well from baby #1 I haven't cared either way what we have, and this baby was no different and even more so because all I was praying for was a healthy baby. We had actually decided to not find out the gender till delivery.
We were ↓↓↓↓↓↓
So our 20 week with my OB came back perfect and everything looked great but for precautions he ordered an Echo with the cardiologist the officially diagnosed us with Paisleys condition to be sure the details of the heart looked good as he only checks for the main things.
The cardiologist cleared everything and everything was perfect and our prayers were answered!
Fast forward to about 23ish weeks when I started to feel human again and we decided to remodel our kitchen.... Like fully gut, and start from beams remodel. Whew, talk about a whirlwind. We were so excited to be over 20 weeks and then downhill to August with our house in pieces!
In all the excitement and waiting, and my nerves wanting to get things ready
we decided to announce what we were having and with much excitement we shared we would be welcoming.......
another little girl so precious and perfect that we knew Paisley chose just for us!
The rest of summer flew by as Wyatt played T-Ball, attended multiple vacation bible schools, splash pad visits, and oh yeah our kitchen remodel. lol
Before I knew it we were well into August and anxiously waiting for the arrival of our sweet girl!
Then in the weee hours of August 20 after a very quick labor and delivery I held Miss Ivy-June Faith on my chest for the first time and breathed cries of relief at this precious little girl that was ours and just perfect.
This sweet girl had my heart from moment 1 and helped bring light to a storm that was very much still stirring from the loss that we'll never fully get over.
Our family of 5 may not be perfect but right here is
where we have it all.
Though most days the pain of loosing Paisley still feels as fresh as it did that cold night in January 2016 when she gained her wings and went home I know there is a reason we have this sweet Ivy-June in our lives now for a reason.
I know Paisley helped God chose her for a reason and made her apart of our family at just the right time.
So as 2017 flew by for us in all the newness and busy times, I know 2018 will bring just as much joy.
We are closing in on what should be her second birthday and the anniversary of loosing her and the wounds feel like they are opening right back up again.
As 2018 rolls up my plan is to get back into blogging and sharing more through our life with you all but for now, I finally have this out as I have been meaning to do for months now!!
PhotoCredit: Caci Fuller @ https://www.facebook.com/CountryStylePhoto/
